Fear

Foreboding thoughts as I near the scale

Energetic efforts of yesterday brings hope

Angst fills me, the line creeps higher

Rue the day I hit fifty, its been a standstill since then, Argh!

the scale

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Trifecta

This was written for the Trifecta weekend challenge, which was to write exactly 33 words on FEAR and I made an acronym into a poem.  I have struggled with many fears my whole life. I have yet to overcome the fear of the scale.

Click on the tricycle to direct you to the Trifecta Blog website.

http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com

The Circle of Life

It’s been nearly one year since our oldest son moved out after finishing college and made my husband and I official empty nesters. I had been so used to running around organizing other people’s lives for the past 24 years that I discovered that I didn’t have to do that anymore.  I heard someone say once that if you don’t know what to do, then don’t do anything. For me it has been a year of transitions and a lot of doing nothing.

At work, there has been chaos, and I chose not to get involved. Staff are leaving, transferring, and retiring. New young staff are being hired. They are old enough to be my children.

At home, my husband got a new job, our son announced he’d be moving to Australia by the end of the summer, and my daughter has a boyfriend.

So as my nest has emptied, I have watched other women fill their nests. I have crossed paths with more pregnant women this year than I can ever remember. I have purchased six copies of my standard baby gift, Your Child’s Health, a great reference book for parents. I have also crossed paths with pregnant birds.

This Canadian goose was in a median in a university parking lot. The poor dad goose was siting on the eggs and wouldn’t leave. Someone brought him a bowl of water. I ran out and brought back some tortillas for him to eat.

Image

At our neighborhood park there have been five Canadian Geese families that have taken over the pond.

So as to not feel left out, on my own back porch, a robin family made a nest one weekend when we were out of town.

The baby robins stick their heads up and all we can see are little beaks and necks.

Mama robin is very vigilant and busy hunting for food for the babies.

Nature took over and filled my nest again. I’ve had a perfect view of it all watching life unfold and still not doing anything…waiting for my next move.

Loud and Proud

My family thinks I ‘m a P.I.T.A.  

My whole life I have been loud and bossy. My father, sister and brothers have all shushed me. You know “Sssssshhhhhhh!” Now people outside my family think I’m annoying. Co-workers have shsssssushed me. My mother never shushed me; she was just as loud as I was.

I have been described as: bossy; nag; impulsive; impatient; I interrupt others; I talk too loud; I sing too loud.

Okay yes. I do all of those things. I’ve probably had ADD my entire life. People with ADD have all of these traits. What makes it all worse are hormones. Hormones are like throwing gasoline on a fire. Well now I am menopausal. For me this is now a permanent condition, instead of perimenopause which is a state of working on menopause. I have a low-level of hormones. So I should be calmer now that the hot flashes are few and far between? One co-worker said I was less irritable now that I am menopausal. Easier to work with the estrogen level on empty. Hhmmmm, gee thanks.

Now if you talk to my family, they would say that I am not calmer. They still think I’m cantankerous. My husband said that I force him to look at the world differently through my persistent behaviors. Wow I guess that was a complement. But then in the next breath he is shushing me. He us taking over as chief shusher from my dad. 

I am a health care provider. I don’t beat around the bush with my patients. I tell them the truth even though it is hard to hear. Most of them thank me for my honesty and for being persistent in advocating for their health and well-being.  When I take those traits home to my family they tell me to be quiet. I’m still a P.I.T.A.